Proud Mama...

Man, for a week that started on a Tuesday...it was sure LONG!  Anyone else feel that way??  :)  We literally had something to do every single evening last week, including hosting a party for nearly 60 people from our Ward (Friday), Cheer Competition which started at 5am (Saturday), and this was all on top of our normally crazy life the other days of the week.  It's a good thing I'm young-ish...

Boden had a basketball game on Tuesday and sank a three pointer....and I got it all on video!

And, of course, 5am on Saturday morning was bright and early for our cheerleader whose team kicked off cheer competition season at Bishop Kelly.  They did fantastic!  And I also got it all on video!

This week isn't starting off nearly as crazy busy, but I sure hope it will be filled with more fun like this.  Proud mama right here! 

Seasons...part 2

I cannot WAIT for summer -- kids home, swimming, sunshine, camping....FUN!!  If we can just survive the last few weeks of school and the final push for homework, choir concerts, football, baseball, and the rest of this school season to end...I'll be a happy camper if we are all in one piece and I'm not curled up in the fetal position in my closet sucking my thumb.

On Monday, I struck the doctor appointment lottery and was able to schedule an appointment with the BEST pediatric orthopedist in town...seriously.  I was screaming for joy in my car I was so happy.  He had been out of town for a week and was booked three weeks out already but somehow that magic computer and brilliant scheduler managed to find a spot just for us.  Even she remarked how she couldn't understand how that had happened.  I knew exactly -- GOD happened.  WOOT WOOT!!

Below is the image of little Ben's tibia.  If you look at the right hand side just below the joint you can see the large egg shaped growth.  The good news is that the doctor isn't jumping up and down out of concern and he doesn't think we need to do anything with it at the moment.  Instead, he wants to check it in a couple of months to see if it has grown.  If it has, then we will need to do something -- biopsy, more tests, etc..  If it hasn't, then we just continue to monitor it.  All in all, I definitely feel better.  Moving on to a different season...

This week, is Boden's cardiology exam.  He will see a pediatric heart specialist on Wednesday and have an echocardiogram.  He is still losing weight...still struggling with stamina.  We were out playing in the sprinklers yesterday and holy crumbs that kid is a toothpick.  Still wearing his trunks from last year and they are now baggy :/  This season scares me too.  We are down nearly 6 pounds in a year.  This shouldn't happen in an otherwise healthy 11 year old boy.  Praying for answers, wisdom, patience, and comfort for me and for sweet Boden.

In other news....
*  Mother's Day...not so hot.  But grateful I am a mom to my beautiful children - I am blessed beyond belief.
*  Little Ben tried to light the grill yesterday for dinner and ended up burning his hands, lips, and a few eyebrow hairs and eyelashes.  COULD have been so much worse and again...GOD IS GOOD!! (Enjoy the pic at the end)
*  I took my beautiful daughter cheer bow shopping...I get to do fun things like that now.  I've waited 15 years to be able to do it and oh.so.fun!
*  Little Ben and Bria had their final concert for Mustang Magic.  One more to go for Cantus and Bria was selected for a solo.  So proud...last night she said, "I realized now I have to actually sing...by myself....in front of people....lots of people."  I just had to wonder what she was thinking when she tried out for a SOLO!  Silly pickle.
*  We got a sweet new pet to add to our collection -- his name is Chip and he's a robo hamster.  CUTE CUTE CUTE.  One more thing to join the circus!
*  I'm headed to Utah this weekend for training at Let's Play Music and might need to stop at this wonderful placed called IKEA.  Just sayin'

Seasons

Our life seems to be ruled by "seasons" -- football season, volleyball season, FFA season.  April and May were more brutal than normal.  Felt like all of the forces of nature had turned to make life more complicated, more stressful, more abnormal.  People rallied, I prayed, and we all survived.  I took a deep breath for the first time in months last week.  It felt good -- I caught up on laundry, celebrated Bria's selection as a cheerleader, and was looking forward to our final volleyball tournament of the year.         The end of another "season".

And now, today has been met with mixed emotions.  Relaxation (it's Sunday after all), fear, some tears, deep love, and more prayer.  We are entering another "season".  It isn't the one that I expected and I have to admit, it's a bit scary.  And yet I find myself thinking about faith and small blessings.  I find myself hoping that this season is short and that whatever storms will be coming as part of it will be minimal.

Earlier this week, BJ finished volleyball and was regretting not playing Spring football.  He decided to call his coach and see if he could play for the remainder of the season and was disappointed when the coach told him that the season was actually coming to a close and he wouldn't be able to play.

The next morning, Coach Dan called back to say that after thinking about BJ's call and calling the league, he had found a team that was in need of some additional players to finish out the season.  We immediately answered yes.  A practice and a half later, BJ had his first game on Saturday.  Neither Ben nor I could attend because we were coaching our volleyball team at the AAU Super Regionals.  In between games, Ben picked him up and when he walked in to the gym, he was limping.  One look at his knee, and you could tell that there was something wrong.

Football can be rather brutal.  I've watched him get sacked by boys twice his size and bounce back up.  I've watched him hit others at a full run and knock them over.  He loves it & I tolerate it because he loves it.  Such is the plight of a mother of boys... :)

Turns out, he took a helmet to the side of his knee...in the 1st quarter of the game.  And, to his credit, he continued to play another 30 plus minutes on both sides of the ball on this knee.  I'm watching him sleep now -- leg up on pillows and an ice pack -- and I can't even imagine the adrenaline a person would need to keep playing on it.  The one thing he wanted me to tell Coach Dan last night..."I didn't quit".

We won't know the full extent of the injury until we see the orthopedist tomorrow.  There's a little spot on the film that looks wonky, but there's no fracture in the knee itself (which is good news). There is a possibility that his MCL (the tendon that runs from femur to tibia and keeps things together) tore and in that process broke off a little piece of bone.  But the season I am talking about is actually not the recovery time it will take for him to be back on the field.

Friends, we need your prayers.  Your positive energy.  Your good thoughts.

The X-ray revealed more than just the knee injury.  It also revealed a tumor in his right Tibia -- about the size of golf ball.

The word tumor has been turned over and over and over in our heads today and throughout the night.  This afternoon I held our beautiful 14 year old son as he cried, scared of what the possible outcomes might be and trying to take comfort in the hope for a positive one.  This season has the potential to be ugly, filled with rain and snow and hail and trying winds.  And yet, it could be a benign tumor.  It's not necessarily cancerous and I keep reminding myself of that.  We do know two things -- it's not a cyst and we need to have an orthopedist look at it.  As I explained to BJ today that we "shouldn't borrow trouble", I found myself wishing I was as wise as the words coming out of my mouth to reassure him.

As I sit in the sunlight of my bedroom thinking about God's goodness, I am going to beat back fear and anxiety.  I am going to pray for wise doctors, offer thanks for modern technology, and marvel in the beauty of this season, even if I find it hard to find.

How Does She...Laundry PART 1

Jealousy doesn't normally rear it's ugly head around here...I only covet a few things in life and they usually are in sets of two.  Two dishwashers, two ovens...are you feeling it yet?  TWO SETS OF WASHERS AND DRYERS.  Oh be still my heart!!  Forget Louboutin shoes, Prada handbags, or Louise Vuitton....my heart moves for washers and dryers in sets of two.  :D

But, that is a dream far down the line and may never happen.  For a family of 8 or more, laundry is one of those tasks that pretty much consumes.  I shop in bulk for laundry sheets, stock up on good detergent when it goes on sale with a coupon, and I have a variety of pet-peeves related to it that make my teenagers want to pull their hair out.  They'll need therapy for the rest of their lives over the laundry in this house.  But atleast they'll have clean clothes to go in...just sayin'.

I digress....today's "How Does She" post is devoted to all things laundry.  And, no, it doesn't include a fairy. But it does include a few easy steps for helping make laundry a skosh more enjoyable and functional.  And who doesn't need that in their life??  Be sure to check out all 6 posts for how I master the laundry in my very busy household. 

STEP 1: ORGANIZATION

You will HATE your laundry space if it is cluttered, disorganized, or chaotic.  I hyperventilate just thinking about my last laundry space.  It was teeny tiny, and I avoided it like the plague.  Which, truthfully just made it worse, because then it became the most loathed space in the house and the one I used the most purposefully.  Ugg.  So, when we moved, and I was lucky enough to have the most amazing laundry space ever, I took that as a sign that I needed to get my act together and make it functional.  It took some time to find just the right system for me but it really helped and I'm glad I worked through my issues  the kinks. 

Now, I have a system to my madness.  And that really helps with the other steps I'll be sharing throughout the week.   

This is my laundry room looking out from the washer and dryer and yes, I'm grateful for the space.   Everything has a place or a purpose.  If it doesn't, well...It goes.  This place is a like fine oiled military unity and if you ain't got a purpose, then you gotta go Jack.

Everyone in the family has a CLEAN basket with their name on it.  I fold and put it in the basket.  They put it away.  That's how it works around here.  I do teach my children how to also DO their own laundry (their spouse will thank me some day), but if I can at least get it washed and folded in this crazy world, they can put it away. Later in the week I'll tell you more about how I enlist my family and even taught my boys to iron.  I have seven of them and I better get a very large hug from their wives someday. Again, I digress. Sorry.  The tag is a simple laminated piece of cardstock printed with their name which is then attached to the basket with a binder ring.  

The kidlets are responsible for bringing their dirty clothes to the laundry room if they want them washed (or when I nag appropriately with some Love and Logic tools I've learned along the way).  They then sort their dirty laundry in to the baskets.  This is where my OCD kicks in to overtime.  Zippers banging on t-shirts create little holes.  Whites should not be dingy because they were washed with the darks.  Towels cannot stink.  You know...little things.  I don't have a zillion dollars to clothe my darling family, so I choose to be OCD in the laundry room to make our clothes last longer and look better.  

So my baskets are tagged the way I want them.  Even my little 3 year old has mastered how to sort his dirties in to the baskets.  This will hopefully make my life easier when he's 14 (or not) and gives him a sense of accomplishment when I praise him for it.  Double whammy...LOVE IT!  There are 5 baskets:  Darks (with Zippers), Darks (Without Zippers), Whites, Towels, and Delicate/Miscellaneous.  I have a 6th smaller basket that sits on my dryer and that is where all of the kitchen rags/towels go.  Those get washed in their own load -- I don't want them growing mold somewhere in the clothes basket until I get to them later in the week.  That's gross.  :) 

My laundry room also flows a certain way.  I did this on purpose.  I can literally take clothes from the dirty baskets to the wash.  From the wash to the dryer.  From the dryer to the folding table.  From the folding table to the baskets.  It's all about efficiency in that room...I'm not even kidding here.  I used to have this terrible habit of taking the laundry to my  bed to fold.  Then it would hit the floor....then it would have to be re-washed or would get all wrinkly and it might wait for days. It was a nightmare and I break out in hives just thinking about the mountains I would leave on the floor.  Ugg...I made a promise to myself  when I got my big laundry room that clean clothes could no longer be placed on the floor or on my bed.  

I had a friend who once commented that spouses need a "retreat" from the rest of the house.  I don't know why I didn't appreciate that comment much sooner in my blissful marriage.  Mountains of laundry on the bed and floor are certainly not conducive to a retreat.  I've since tried to create a place for the hubs to be able to kick of his shoes and relax and it has worked WONDERS for him (and as a result, me).  And why shouldn't he be pampered just a bit after a long day at the office.  :D  For those of you who don't have the luxury of a folding table in your laundry room, please think twice before you put it on the bed.  Unless you are an overachiever who immediately folds the pile as soon as it hits the bed.  In that case, I want to be you when I grow up.  

In the corner of the laundry room is a garment rack.  This is where I hang clothes that don't get dried and clothes that I don't want wrinkled in basket or will get hung later.  In our house, we hang all of the big people shirts (including t-shirts).  Top wrack is for mom and dad.  Bottom wrack is for younger folk with better backs.   They are responsible for clearing out their hang-ables when they snag their baskets.  It's win, win.  Not perfect, but certainly better than the pile on the floor I was going for in my early marriage and mommyhood days.

Be sure to check in tomorrow for Part 2 of my laundry adventures.  

• Part 2:  LEARNING THE RULES OF THE {LAUNDRY} ROAD
• Part 3:  ENLISTING THE FAMILY
• Part 4:  BE PICKY...IT'S OKAY
• Part 5:  DO IT...DAILY  
• Part 6:  SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS (I loathe you)

I'd love to hear what works for you and your family in the laundry department.  Do you have a secret organization trick to share?  Sound off below.  

Stay Happy, 

~ B

Funny Things Happen at Church

Today was Fast Sunday at Church -- and today I felt especially grateful for my herd of children, wonderful husband, and journey that God has us on.  So, I decided to bear my testimony.  I made my way up to the front and sat quietly waiting for a very nice gentleman to finish.  That was probably a bad idea.  From a few rows back, I could see my toddler's eyes lock on my position and start to squirm in his dad's lap.  Worse idea.  I wiggled my finger at him and up he came to sit on my lap.  Worst idea.

When my turn came, I quietly stood and picked the toddler up.  I took him to the microphone and encouraged him to repeat after me.  He however, thought it was more funny to practice his heavy breathing over the sound system. I gently pulled him back and started to bear my testimony.  He squirmed some more and after thirty seconds or so, my husband came up to grab him which caused more squirming and I'm pretty sure some screaming about "mommy".  I continued to bear my testimony and apologized for the interruption only to look down and see that my other preschooler was at my feet, who starts to engage with the other in pushing and gentle fighting about who could hug my right leg. 

This is comical by this point and I begin to notice a lot of broad grins and chuckles spreading across the chapel in front of me.  I start to cry -- not because I am totally crazy and overwhelmed by these two now fighting preschoolers at my feet -- but because I am so grateful that my Heavenly Father loves me so much to send these beautiful creatures to me and that I get to be their mommy forever.  And even in the midst of their little squabble, I am grateful for the gift of patience, love, and grace to manage the many moments of motherhood that could turn south quickly if I didn't have these gifts.

Atleast a dozen people thanked me today for my testimony, which is funny, because I was sure they only saw the circus at Church today.   :)

"Life by the Yard is Hard"

The last 60 days have been grueling.  Well, to be honest the stress for me started on New Year's Eve of last year when we received the first "notice" on the front door of our rental home.  Inside...I freaked out.  How could this happen to us when we were paying on time?  Where was our family going to go?  Would we have to go?  When would we have to go?  And, every time another letter was hung on the door or someone stopped to take photos or do a check to see if someone was living in the house, I freaked.  It was hard not to.  I had no control over what was happening, even though our family lived there.  My husband, who is my rock, was steady.  He was patient.  He listened and reassured.  I still freaked.

This morning, this quote by President Monson struck me:

“Life by the yard is hard; by the inch it’s a cinch. Decisions Determine Destiny.” 

In the last 60 days, we have moved, traveled, and adopted.  Phew.  I am exhausted just writing that sentence.  Change has been hard.  It has felt like a marathon that just wouldn't end.  It wasn't a completely unexpected move because we had sensed that there was trouble with the bank for almost a year.  But unexpected to move in them middle of November.  But through it all, when we let the Lord handle things by the yards and we focused on the inches, things have worked out beautifully -- a new home for a great deal and two beautiful new children.

That doesn't mean that change is easy.  Leaving our church family is HARD.  Moving is HARD.  Unpacking is HARD.  Making new friends is HARD.  Did I mention that moving is HARD??   Keeping a preschool open while moving is HARD.  Making friends with new neighbors who have been traumatized by large Mormon families (lol) as their neighbors is HARD.  Working with Health and Welfare through our adoption is HARD.  Knowing that BK is struggling and not wanting help from his family is HARD.  And yet through it all, I've been at peace knowing that the Lord is handling all of the big stuff.  He's cool like that :)

Why do we insist on living by the yard?  Why do we insist in knowing what is better for us even though we can't see the full road ahead?  I can only speak for myself, but I am fiercely independent and want to be self-sufficient.  The last 6 years have required us to put all of our trust in Heavenly Father for providence.  We had to humble ourselves through lost jobs, failed businesses, loans that needed repaid, medical bills, more medical bills, the passing of mark, more medical bills, job changes, 4 moves...and yet through it all He could see the road ahead while we trudged along.  He could see the cliffs, pitfalls, 90 degree turns, and the end.  But I still insisted in driving the car!

It's something I'm learning to change -- I need to be more like my husband -- steady, patient, and not freaking out when things are out of my control.  (Note...I don't literally freak out....but I do freak out on the inside and lose sleep, hair, and a whole lot of years off of my life just to be clear :) )

These experiences, even with how HARD they have been, have strengthened my faith in the Lord.  That I need to let Him lead my life and quit trying to drive.  That I need to focus on the inches instead of the yards.  And that I need to continue trusting in my awesome, spectacular and fabulous husband.

Oooohhh...I love it! I've been a bit crafty this weekend :)

I have what some would call a Pinterest-problem.  But, I have good boundary skills and don't go there every day.  If I did, my husband would be in a lot of trouble because there are so many wonderfully talented people who post wonderfully creative and helpful things on Pinterest.  The real genius is if I could find away to blog about all of my Pinterest projects and make money doing it....now that would be genius.  Just sayin'

This weekend I did manage to get a few things done that I have been wanting to do for a very, very long time.  Think years....Yeah for me!!   

Big Daddy is very excited for this project....you can just see it in his face!

Even with a BROKEN finger, he still helps out.  LOVE

Uggg...can you just see that ugly blank space. 

Ah....LOVE these beautiful boys :)

The finished product

Vinyl letters

Showing Big Daddy how much I appreciate him

AND, there's more.  One of my goals as a mom is to be more proactive in telling my children what I appreciate and love about them.  I tend to get sucked in to nag, nag, nag mode and I hate it.  So this week, I did something about it and made some very cute and fun ways to tell them how much I love them more often.  Here they are...

Each boy has their own hanging outside of their bedroom.  

These hang underneath the bulletin board I hung for each boy for their art, special recognitions and such.  

The hallway

SUPER simple to make -- I printed the template off on white paper.  Framed it in a cheap $3 frame from Wal-mart, and wrote on them with a dry erase marker so that I can change it daily.  (that's my goal atleast).  It also helps improve literacy skills for the two little people in the house.  

OOOOO.....ahhhhhh......Ohhhhh...is what I heard from the boys when they saw them.  Now, to remember to write on them often -- I'm filling their love buckets and helping them see all of the great things I see every day but forget to tell them about.  

"Earning your Sleep"

A long time ago, I heard an elderly woman speak about "earning your sleep" as a wife and mother.  At the time, I thought I was earning my sleep with our crazy, busy life -- I had a large client base in my political consulting business, a large family to care for, I was attending college full-time, and I was serving on several non-profit boards, starting a charter school, and had a church calling.  I was definitely earning my sleep.

But....

I have had the amazing opportunity to correspond a few times with Allison Kimball from Simple Inspiration.  I want to be her when I grow up...seriously.  She is so eloquent, brilliant, talented, funny, intelligent, crafty....did I mention talented?  But there is something more to her that I admire above everything else.  She is incredibly grounded.   She posted a simple blog post the other day that really made me think, analyze, pray, ponder, and act upon what I was doing in my life to "earn my sleep".

"We can ask ourselves, “Am I committing my time and energies to the things that matter most?” There are so many good things to do, but we can’t do all of them. Our Heavenly Father is most pleased when we sacrifice something good for something far greater with an eternal perspective." ~ Dieter F. Uchtdorf

 I definitely earned my sleep today -- I worked a full day, coordinated a football dinner for 70 people, made 15 pounds of spaghetti, two crockpots of homemade sauce, two cookie sheets of brownies and sugar cookie bars, and a bazillion pounds of laundry all while wrangling two toddlers, teaching piano lessons, and a conference call.  Please, don't be jealous...I have poor boundary skills :)

But that isn't where this quote smacked me upside the head and made me smile and say a silent prayer of thanks.  It came as I was loading the dishwasher for the third time today -- yes, I said third but who's counting -- and somewhat lamenting that my large family of boys couldn't manage to load it atleast 1 time.  Okay...I was more than lamenting.  I was grousing, grumpy, and a little bit, a lot disappointed that I was standing at the sink again.

And then there was Allison's blog post...feeding my family, serving my family, loving my family....that's exactly what matters most.  Sure they could do more (I'll make them pay me back later), but I am privileged to be their mom, divinely chosen to raise this herd of Strippling Warriors.  And I am more than grateful that I had the time, energy, and skills necessary to get everything accomplished today.  Phew....I think I earned my sleep tonight AND I did it doing things that matter most for my family.

Be sure to check out Allison's blog for more inspiration -- it was just what I needed to remember today.  (And thanks for the perfectly timed email today, Allison.  So needed to hear your wise words :)  )

My boys :)

Structure and Reality

What do you get when you combine a Type A personality, a dash of OCD, a large family, and a long list of responsibilities??  A mama with patches of hair missing from where she pulls it out frequently.  I wish I could just squash that part of my persona that makes me clean, organize, and freak out when things aren't as orderly as I would like them.  It's a love-hate relationship with that part of me.  Seriously....

Today officially marks the end of summer.  The older kids are back in school and today it is just me and the littles.  Today, I am relishing in the idea of summer chaos aligning in to the sweetness of order.  I have that tendency.  Give me five minutes and I'm going to be in a full blown panic attack about everything I need to get done.  

This was a hard summer for me...I'm not going to lie.  I had seen the dates on paper and knew about the expectations for my job as State FFA Coordinator.  But it's always more complex in reality.  I spent a great deal of the summer traveling and working with six beautiful young people...but that also meant I spent a great deal of time away from the five beautiful people who live in my house.  There was still laundry that needed done, a garage that needed cleaned, and babies that needed potty training.   It was brutal and yet I loved every minute with the state officer team.  Throw in a case of mono and then lumps in Bauer's lymph nodes that won't go away, a week of jury duty, and getting ready for the school year and I'm just about at the end of my rope. 

So today is both a sad and happy day.  Sad because I missed out on summer with my children (I'm planning better for next year) and happy because I get to feed my OCD Type A personality with structure and to-do lists.  There are many happy, amazing, and fun adventures coming up -- football season, meeting Bria and Derek, Cantus, and more.  I'm going to try and take today and breath deep as I unbury ourselves from the summer months of travel.  Welcome back structure and reality....I've missed you.  

And here's a little ditty to motivate you today -- I LOVE this song! It's been a summer favorite :)  Enjoy...

Hard Things...

Why?  Why does God ask us to do hard things?  I'm comfortable with where my life is headed.  We've made it through some pretty rough seas, big storms and fires that seemed endless in the last five years.  I'd be content just sitting back and catching my breath.  God, however, has other plans.  He asks  us to do hard things because He needs us and His timing is perfect, even though I don't want to admit it.

Adoption has blessed our family incredibly.  We have two beautiful sons who weren't born in our family, but born in our hearts.  They went through hard things before they joined our family and our family experienced hard things as we grew together.  Having emerged on the other side of those hard things, I've seen the impact  adoption has had on our family -- the good and the bad.  And one thing is for certain -- there is never a time that God's hand was not at work in our home.  Healing and blessing, pushing and pulling, and sometimes even carrying one or all of through.  

So imagine my surprise when a friend called me a couple of months ago and told me I needed to check out Idaho's Wednesday Child, where profiles of adoptable children are posted.  I laughed her comment off...after all, I've been on the site a dozen times and looked at children.  They are cute and lovable and I would adopt a million if I could.  As the page loaded and the picture loaded, there was no way I could deny that I was looking in to the faces of my children....my children.  God was telling me to do a hard thing -- open my heart again to rejection, frustration, and potential loss in return for the eternal blessing of having these two beautiful children be a part of our family.  

I was stunned...I am still stunned.  I am humbled....I am grateful....I am scared.  And in just 12 days, we will will have the opportunity to meet our children face-to-face and embrace them.   And even then, there is a risk that they won't come home with us.  That they may go to another home...in the world of foster-adoption, that is just a risk.  But it is a risk I'm willing to take because God is asking me to.  I will trust Him to bring us through this hard thing and I will enjoy every moment and savor every blessing.

Thomas S. Monson has taught:

“Whatever our calling, regardless of our fears or anxieties, let us pray and then go and do, remembering the words of the Master, even the Lord Jesus Christ, who promised, ‘I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.’”

“We can strengthen one another; we have the capacity to notice the unnoticed. When we have eyes that see, ears that hear, and hearts that know and feel, we can reach out and rescue those for whom we have responsibility.”

“None of us lives alone—in our city, our nation, or our world. There is no dividing line between our prosperity and our neighbor’s poverty.”

“There are feet to steady, hands to grasp, minds to encourage, hearts to inspire, and souls to save.”

“Perhaps when we face our Maker, we will not be asked, ‘How many positions did you hold,’ but rather, ‘How many people did you help?’”

“As we go about our daily lives, we discover countless opportunities to follow the example of the Savior. When our hearts are in tune with His teachings, we discover the unmistakable nearness of His divine help. It is almost as though we are on the Lord’s errand; and we then discover that, when we are on the Lord’s errand, we are entitled to the Lord’s help.”

“By learning of Him, by believing in Him, by following Him, there is the capacity to become like Him. [Our] countenance can change; [our] heart can be softened; [our] step can be quickened; [our] outlook enhanced. Life becomes what it should become.”

So, you are probably wondering WHY is this a hard thing?  There are a lot of reasons...some more deeply personal and matters of the heart, while others are more practical.  Here are just a few that I have taken to the Lord.

1. What if they can't bond with us?  We have experienced RAD and we know how hard it is to love someone from afar who can't reciprocate that same kind of love back.   We already love them no matter what and we understand that they will need time to feel the same way.  
2. How can we afford two more people in our household -- more clothes, more food, more water, moer power, everything.  Kids are expensive and we want them to experience so many things and those things...they cost money.  
3. Space...oh boy....space.  We will make it work and we'll be happy about it because this home is exactly where God wants us right now.  I have no idea why...but He hasn't opened anything else since we've been looking.  That's both a relief and a pain all at the same time (but that's another post for another time). 
4. Teenage girls are a lot of work...especially those that need to bond with you at the same time they are supposed to hate your guts.  (Just ask Kristi and Kim)
5. What if they don't ever come back?  My mother heart aches when I think about my older "kids".  Some are learning things the hard way.  Some are in situations that require me to be distant so they don't get hurt.  Some don't recognize the unconditional love I have for them, despite the fact that I didn't "have them" like my biological children.  
6. What if we aren't selected?  The Sunday School answer "God has something else in mind for you" won't heal my broken heart.  I tried to relate this to my good friend Sara last week.  If we aren't selected, in many ways it will be like having a still born baby.  I know I will grieve...that loss scares me.  

And so, I am trusting.  I am humbled.  I am honored.  And, I am scared.  Hard things are just that...hard. 

I would LOVE to hear about the hard things you have walked through or are currently walking through.  What have you done to help survive them?  What have you enjoyed most or least?  What have your hard places taught you?  Comment below.  :)

Our Summer Reading Challenge....and a little STRUCTURE

This has been our first week of summer and can I just tell you that my OCD self is already craving the comfort of "routine".  Things have bee a little crazy around here as I try to balance family, preschool, and my new FFA job.  It's been nuts...I'm not going to lie.  

On Friday, I returned from State FFA CDE's in Moscow.  That was preceded by preschool graduation, music recitals and everything in between.  I was pooped by the time the three week whirlwind was complete and the 26 hours of sleep I had in 2 days left me feeling a little sluggish this week.  But I made a promise to myself that I would make every moment of "summer" count for my kids and we just wouldn't spend it sitting in front of the TV.  

So our Summer Reading Challenge has begun....and I am so excited!  There are two requirements for the challenge:

• PART 1:  Read the ENTIRE Book of Mormon by August 1st.  (If you are starting today, that's 11 pages per day)
• PART 2:  Read one age-appropriate book every week throughout the summer. (That's atleast 7 books, yup)

I think I just heard a collective groan....oh wait....that was my children.  Don't despair, it will be fun.  And if you join us, there are PRIZES :)  Mwahhhahahaha....a little bribery never hurts.  :)   So come on, dig out those library cards (and pay your late fees...) and let's get our READ on!