Post Holiday Crunch

I've been dreading this moment...sitting here at my computer trying to find any motivation whatsoever.  Ugg...my heated blanket and the TV are calling my name.  Seriously.  Well, maybe that's just my inner-self needing a much needed down time.  The last 8 weeks have been grueling and physically and mentally I'm exhausted. I kept thinking if I survive X, then I can rest....well when I hit Z I think the alphabet started over and I'm still trying to survive.

First, the big move.  Second, bringing our kiddos home.  Third, my papa passed away.  Fourth...Christmas! It really feels like the last few weeks have just been a blur and now I have to put my feet on the ground and get back in to reality.  Before I know it, school will be in full swing, FFA Convention is just around the corner, and then of course, everything else.  I must get myself organized and ready to tackle the 2013.

And...I don't want to.  My heated blanket is really tempting at the moment and the basement feels like it's getting colder.  Should I call it a night (at 7:30pm), and tuck myself in??  Oh.so.tempting.

"Life by the Yard is Hard"

The last 60 days have been grueling.  Well, to be honest the stress for me started on New Year's Eve of last year when we received the first "notice" on the front door of our rental home.  Inside...I freaked out.  How could this happen to us when we were paying on time?  Where was our family going to go?  Would we have to go?  When would we have to go?  And, every time another letter was hung on the door or someone stopped to take photos or do a check to see if someone was living in the house, I freaked.  It was hard not to.  I had no control over what was happening, even though our family lived there.  My husband, who is my rock, was steady.  He was patient.  He listened and reassured.  I still freaked.

This morning, this quote by President Monson struck me:

“Life by the yard is hard; by the inch it’s a cinch. Decisions Determine Destiny.” 

In the last 60 days, we have moved, traveled, and adopted.  Phew.  I am exhausted just writing that sentence.  Change has been hard.  It has felt like a marathon that just wouldn't end.  It wasn't a completely unexpected move because we had sensed that there was trouble with the bank for almost a year.  But unexpected to move in them middle of November.  But through it all, when we let the Lord handle things by the yards and we focused on the inches, things have worked out beautifully -- a new home for a great deal and two beautiful new children.

That doesn't mean that change is easy.  Leaving our church family is HARD.  Moving is HARD.  Unpacking is HARD.  Making new friends is HARD.  Did I mention that moving is HARD??   Keeping a preschool open while moving is HARD.  Making friends with new neighbors who have been traumatized by large Mormon families (lol) as their neighbors is HARD.  Working with Health and Welfare through our adoption is HARD.  Knowing that BK is struggling and not wanting help from his family is HARD.  And yet through it all, I've been at peace knowing that the Lord is handling all of the big stuff.  He's cool like that :)

Why do we insist on living by the yard?  Why do we insist in knowing what is better for us even though we can't see the full road ahead?  I can only speak for myself, but I am fiercely independent and want to be self-sufficient.  The last 6 years have required us to put all of our trust in Heavenly Father for providence.  We had to humble ourselves through lost jobs, failed businesses, loans that needed repaid, medical bills, more medical bills, the passing of mark, more medical bills, job changes, 4 moves...and yet through it all He could see the road ahead while we trudged along.  He could see the cliffs, pitfalls, 90 degree turns, and the end.  But I still insisted in driving the car!

It's something I'm learning to change -- I need to be more like my husband -- steady, patient, and not freaking out when things are out of my control.  (Note...I don't literally freak out....but I do freak out on the inside and lose sleep, hair, and a whole lot of years off of my life just to be clear :) )

These experiences, even with how HARD they have been, have strengthened my faith in the Lord.  That I need to let Him lead my life and quit trying to drive.  That I need to focus on the inches instead of the yards.  And that I need to continue trusting in my awesome, spectacular and fabulous husband.

Big Changes are Coming....

There are so many things happening in our life right now that I don't even know where to begin.  Are we adopting?  When is that process going to speed up or slow down?  Are we moving?  Are we staying?  So many decisions to juggle, to pray about, and in some cases, jump off the cliff with a LEAP of faith!

So, to keep it short...here are the TOP 5 areas where BIG CHANGES ARE COMING....

1. Our LOCALE....

Turning my Brain Off....

What is the process for adoption?

Working through the adoption process often feels like this....Hurry up, wait, need more information, more paperwork, hurry up, wait.....It's a long process and it can be frustrating.  BUT IT IS WORTH EVERY MINUTE OF FRUSTRATION!!!  I can't wait to have the kids come home for a weekend visit.  

I believe in forever families and it makes me so very sad that I can't help every single child in foster care find the forever family of their dreams -- a family that won't change next week, next month, next year;  a family that comes to sports games;  a family that stands by them even when things get yucky;  a family that

The Hitchin'

From Romeo and Juliet to the story of Adam and Eve, love stories are everywhere.  I love them -- several of my favorite movies are about two people who love each other so deeply that they withstand trials, tribulations, and time to end of together.  It has taken me a while to process that my parents fell in love at the wrong time in the wrong place.  But this weekend, I watched their love story have a truly happy ending -- at the right time and the right place.  

Who's up for a challenge?

Do you ever look on Pinterest at the photos of these beautifully organized homes filled with projects the owner has completed....not a sock to be seen, no "junk" piles, and not a flaw to be found (well, atleast that's what I see but I digress...)  I hate having OCD....It is this tiny inner voice that obsesses over small details.  It makes me great at my job, but not so much as a wife and mother.  (It tends to lead to nagging....mhmmm)

Oooohhh...I love it! I've been a bit crafty this weekend :)

I have what some would call a Pinterest-problem.  But, I have good boundary skills and don't go there every day.  If I did, my husband would be in a lot of trouble because there are so many wonderfully talented people who post wonderfully creative and helpful things on Pinterest.  The real genius is if I could find away to blog about all of my Pinterest projects and make money doing it....now that would be genius.  Just sayin'

This weekend I did manage to get a few things done that I have been wanting to do for a very, very long time.  Think years....Yeah for me!!   

Big Daddy is very excited for this project....you can just see it in his face!

Even with a BROKEN finger, he still helps out.  LOVE

Uggg...can you just see that ugly blank space. 

Ah....LOVE these beautiful boys :)

The finished product

Vinyl letters

Showing Big Daddy how much I appreciate him

AND, there's more.  One of my goals as a mom is to be more proactive in telling my children what I appreciate and love about them.  I tend to get sucked in to nag, nag, nag mode and I hate it.  So this week, I did something about it and made some very cute and fun ways to tell them how much I love them more often.  Here they are...

Each boy has their own hanging outside of their bedroom.  

These hang underneath the bulletin board I hung for each boy for their art, special recognitions and such.  

The hallway

SUPER simple to make -- I printed the template off on white paper.  Framed it in a cheap $3 frame from Wal-mart, and wrote on them with a dry erase marker so that I can change it daily.  (that's my goal atleast).  It also helps improve literacy skills for the two little people in the house.  

OOOOO.....ahhhhhh......Ohhhhh...is what I heard from the boys when they saw them.  Now, to remember to write on them often -- I'm filling their love buckets and helping them see all of the great things I see every day but forget to tell them about.  

"Earning your Sleep"

A long time ago, I heard an elderly woman speak about "earning your sleep" as a wife and mother.  At the time, I thought I was earning my sleep with our crazy, busy life -- I had a large client base in my political consulting business, a large family to care for, I was attending college full-time, and I was serving on several non-profit boards, starting a charter school, and had a church calling.  I was definitely earning my sleep.

But....

I have had the amazing opportunity to correspond a few times with Allison Kimball from Simple Inspiration.  I want to be her when I grow up...seriously.  She is so eloquent, brilliant, talented, funny, intelligent, crafty....did I mention talented?  But there is something more to her that I admire above everything else.  She is incredibly grounded.   She posted a simple blog post the other day that really made me think, analyze, pray, ponder, and act upon what I was doing in my life to "earn my sleep".

"We can ask ourselves, “Am I committing my time and energies to the things that matter most?” There are so many good things to do, but we can’t do all of them. Our Heavenly Father is most pleased when we sacrifice something good for something far greater with an eternal perspective." ~ Dieter F. Uchtdorf

 I definitely earned my sleep today -- I worked a full day, coordinated a football dinner for 70 people, made 15 pounds of spaghetti, two crockpots of homemade sauce, two cookie sheets of brownies and sugar cookie bars, and a bazillion pounds of laundry all while wrangling two toddlers, teaching piano lessons, and a conference call.  Please, don't be jealous...I have poor boundary skills :)

But that isn't where this quote smacked me upside the head and made me smile and say a silent prayer of thanks.  It came as I was loading the dishwasher for the third time today -- yes, I said third but who's counting -- and somewhat lamenting that my large family of boys couldn't manage to load it atleast 1 time.  Okay...I was more than lamenting.  I was grousing, grumpy, and a little bit, a lot disappointed that I was standing at the sink again.

And then there was Allison's blog post...feeding my family, serving my family, loving my family....that's exactly what matters most.  Sure they could do more (I'll make them pay me back later), but I am privileged to be their mom, divinely chosen to raise this herd of Strippling Warriors.  And I am more than grateful that I had the time, energy, and skills necessary to get everything accomplished today.  Phew....I think I earned my sleep tonight AND I did it doing things that matter most for my family.

Be sure to check out Allison's blog for more inspiration -- it was just what I needed to remember today.  (And thanks for the perfectly timed email today, Allison.  So needed to hear your wise words :)  )

My boys :)

Structure and Reality

What do you get when you combine a Type A personality, a dash of OCD, a large family, and a long list of responsibilities??  A mama with patches of hair missing from where she pulls it out frequently.  I wish I could just squash that part of my persona that makes me clean, organize, and freak out when things aren't as orderly as I would like them.  It's a love-hate relationship with that part of me.  Seriously....

Today officially marks the end of summer.  The older kids are back in school and today it is just me and the littles.  Today, I am relishing in the idea of summer chaos aligning in to the sweetness of order.  I have that tendency.  Give me five minutes and I'm going to be in a full blown panic attack about everything I need to get done.  

This was a hard summer for me...I'm not going to lie.  I had seen the dates on paper and knew about the expectations for my job as State FFA Coordinator.  But it's always more complex in reality.  I spent a great deal of the summer traveling and working with six beautiful young people...but that also meant I spent a great deal of time away from the five beautiful people who live in my house.  There was still laundry that needed done, a garage that needed cleaned, and babies that needed potty training.   It was brutal and yet I loved every minute with the state officer team.  Throw in a case of mono and then lumps in Bauer's lymph nodes that won't go away, a week of jury duty, and getting ready for the school year and I'm just about at the end of my rope. 

So today is both a sad and happy day.  Sad because I missed out on summer with my children (I'm planning better for next year) and happy because I get to feed my OCD Type A personality with structure and to-do lists.  There are many happy, amazing, and fun adventures coming up -- football season, meeting Bria and Derek, Cantus, and more.  I'm going to try and take today and breath deep as I unbury ourselves from the summer months of travel.  Welcome back structure and reality....I've missed you.  

And here's a little ditty to motivate you today -- I LOVE this song! It's been a summer favorite :)  Enjoy...

Hard Things...

Why?  Why does God ask us to do hard things?  I'm comfortable with where my life is headed.  We've made it through some pretty rough seas, big storms and fires that seemed endless in the last five years.  I'd be content just sitting back and catching my breath.  God, however, has other plans.  He asks  us to do hard things because He needs us and His timing is perfect, even though I don't want to admit it.

Adoption has blessed our family incredibly.  We have two beautiful sons who weren't born in our family, but born in our hearts.  They went through hard things before they joined our family and our family experienced hard things as we grew together.  Having emerged on the other side of those hard things, I've seen the impact  adoption has had on our family -- the good and the bad.  And one thing is for certain -- there is never a time that God's hand was not at work in our home.  Healing and blessing, pushing and pulling, and sometimes even carrying one or all of through.  

So imagine my surprise when a friend called me a couple of months ago and told me I needed to check out Idaho's Wednesday Child, where profiles of adoptable children are posted.  I laughed her comment off...after all, I've been on the site a dozen times and looked at children.  They are cute and lovable and I would adopt a million if I could.  As the page loaded and the picture loaded, there was no way I could deny that I was looking in to the faces of my children....my children.  God was telling me to do a hard thing -- open my heart again to rejection, frustration, and potential loss in return for the eternal blessing of having these two beautiful children be a part of our family.  

I was stunned...I am still stunned.  I am humbled....I am grateful....I am scared.  And in just 12 days, we will will have the opportunity to meet our children face-to-face and embrace them.   And even then, there is a risk that they won't come home with us.  That they may go to another home...in the world of foster-adoption, that is just a risk.  But it is a risk I'm willing to take because God is asking me to.  I will trust Him to bring us through this hard thing and I will enjoy every moment and savor every blessing.

Thomas S. Monson has taught:

“Whatever our calling, regardless of our fears or anxieties, let us pray and then go and do, remembering the words of the Master, even the Lord Jesus Christ, who promised, ‘I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.’”

“We can strengthen one another; we have the capacity to notice the unnoticed. When we have eyes that see, ears that hear, and hearts that know and feel, we can reach out and rescue those for whom we have responsibility.”

“None of us lives alone—in our city, our nation, or our world. There is no dividing line between our prosperity and our neighbor’s poverty.”

“There are feet to steady, hands to grasp, minds to encourage, hearts to inspire, and souls to save.”

“Perhaps when we face our Maker, we will not be asked, ‘How many positions did you hold,’ but rather, ‘How many people did you help?’”

“As we go about our daily lives, we discover countless opportunities to follow the example of the Savior. When our hearts are in tune with His teachings, we discover the unmistakable nearness of His divine help. It is almost as though we are on the Lord’s errand; and we then discover that, when we are on the Lord’s errand, we are entitled to the Lord’s help.”

“By learning of Him, by believing in Him, by following Him, there is the capacity to become like Him. [Our] countenance can change; [our] heart can be softened; [our] step can be quickened; [our] outlook enhanced. Life becomes what it should become.”

So, you are probably wondering WHY is this a hard thing?  There are a lot of reasons...some more deeply personal and matters of the heart, while others are more practical.  Here are just a few that I have taken to the Lord.

1. What if they can't bond with us?  We have experienced RAD and we know how hard it is to love someone from afar who can't reciprocate that same kind of love back.   We already love them no matter what and we understand that they will need time to feel the same way.  
2. How can we afford two more people in our household -- more clothes, more food, more water, moer power, everything.  Kids are expensive and we want them to experience so many things and those things...they cost money.  
3. Space...oh boy....space.  We will make it work and we'll be happy about it because this home is exactly where God wants us right now.  I have no idea why...but He hasn't opened anything else since we've been looking.  That's both a relief and a pain all at the same time (but that's another post for another time). 
4. Teenage girls are a lot of work...especially those that need to bond with you at the same time they are supposed to hate your guts.  (Just ask Kristi and Kim)
5. What if they don't ever come back?  My mother heart aches when I think about my older "kids".  Some are learning things the hard way.  Some are in situations that require me to be distant so they don't get hurt.  Some don't recognize the unconditional love I have for them, despite the fact that I didn't "have them" like my biological children.  
6. What if we aren't selected?  The Sunday School answer "God has something else in mind for you" won't heal my broken heart.  I tried to relate this to my good friend Sara last week.  If we aren't selected, in many ways it will be like having a still born baby.  I know I will grieve...that loss scares me.  

And so, I am trusting.  I am humbled.  I am honored.  And, I am scared.  Hard things are just that...hard. 

I would LOVE to hear about the hard things you have walked through or are currently walking through.  What have you done to help survive them?  What have you enjoyed most or least?  What have your hard places taught you?  Comment below.  :)

Our Summer Reading Challenge....and a little STRUCTURE

This has been our first week of summer and can I just tell you that my OCD self is already craving the comfort of "routine".  Things have bee a little crazy around here as I try to balance family, preschool, and my new FFA job.  It's been nuts...I'm not going to lie.  

On Friday, I returned from State FFA CDE's in Moscow.  That was preceded by preschool graduation, music recitals and everything in between.  I was pooped by the time the three week whirlwind was complete and the 26 hours of sleep I had in 2 days left me feeling a little sluggish this week.  But I made a promise to myself that I would make every moment of "summer" count for my kids and we just wouldn't spend it sitting in front of the TV.  

So our Summer Reading Challenge has begun....and I am so excited!  There are two requirements for the challenge:

• PART 1:  Read the ENTIRE Book of Mormon by August 1st.  (If you are starting today, that's 11 pages per day)
• PART 2:  Read one age-appropriate book every week throughout the summer. (That's atleast 7 books, yup)

I think I just heard a collective groan....oh wait....that was my children.  Don't despair, it will be fun.  And if you join us, there are PRIZES :)  Mwahhhahahaha....a little bribery never hurts.  :)   So come on, dig out those library cards (and pay your late fees...) and let's get our READ on!

Heaven is a Clean Mattress...Sweet Dreams!

One of the pitfalls of having a Pinterest account is that it kicks my OCD into FULL gear.  Am I the only one with this problem?  Fortunately, most of the time it is a good thing and today I sliced out a little piece of Heaven....a fantastically clean bedroom, including the mattress.

Now if my OCD had the choice, it would have stuck the dang mattress in the washing machine weekly but unfortunately it does not fit.  Combine this OCD with the fact that we have two toddlers (yes, 2) that join us in bed every night (yes, every night), then you have a combination for a disaster.  Seriously....I get an anxiety attack just thinking about it.

But I digress....Pinterest came to the rescue.  Turns out that you can take three little common household products and combine them in a spray bottle and say goodbye nastiness.  I put this little chemical concoction to the test today and couldn't stop myself from saying "brilliant, brilliant, brilliant" just a mere 20 minutes later.  It is so brilliant in fact that I have to share it so that you too can experience it for yourself.

WHAT YOU NEED
1 -- Spray bottle of your choice (be sure it is clean and empty)
16oz -- Hydrogen Peroxide (the kind that comes in the brown bottle and stings like mad when poured on a cut)
6 Tbsp -- Baking Soda
2 Drops -- Dawn Dishsoap
1 Funnel -- For easily putting all of this together in your spray bottle

WHAT YOU DO
Mix is all together and then spray on to your mattress.  (A word of caution -- it doesn't have the best smell in the world.  Not toxic, but definitely not pleasant.)  Within 15 to 20 minutes you will begin to see those stains begin to disappear.  The baking soda will leave a slight residue on your mattress that easily comes off with a vacuum.

I was too disgusted by my own mattress to take a good before and after.  So instead I'll just leave you with the picture of my clean bedroom.   I promise you will not be disappointed with your clean mattress.  Did you know that you can also use the power of the sun to clean your mattress?  Oh yes....just set it out in the sun on a nice hot day and it will also clean your mattress.  (If the sun ever decides to join us for summer, you could do this instead.... my OCD I couldn't wait that long.)

Is this what I signed up for...??

I recently read a blog by the wonderful, beautiful, and oh so faithful Lorraine at All Are Precious In His Sight.  For those of you who do not know Lorraine, you really need to pop over to her blog and read how God is working in her life and in the lives of pretty much every one that Lorraine touches.  She is one amazing woman of God and I am so grateful that I stumbled upon her blog a few months ago. 

Nearly 5 years ago, Ben and I felt called to adopt through the foster care system.  We met a young man through a social worker that advocated for him while we were fostering other children.  We had him over a few times for respite and because he was a teenager, his adoption team allowed him to choose us to be his forever family. A lot has happened in that five years -- the death of another child, the birth of a special needs baby, lost jobs, lost businesses, and three moves.  But the one thing that remained strong was our family

My husband loves me...THIS MUCH!!!

Okay, I admit it...I am a bona fide Type A clean freak...with some issues.  And those issues come in the shapes of 6 boys, two dogs, a flock of chickens, a herd of preschoolers that come daily, and a husband.  :)  Combine those issues with the fact that one must sleep a few hours a day and working full-time, and the house can spin out of control in about 2 nanoseconds.  There are literally nights I lay in bed and focus on not having a panic attack about how messy I feel my house is.   In reality it is probably not as bad as I see it...right??

I am so delighted that Spring Break is here!   Because that means that I get to SPRING CLEAN!!  And while my children are less than delighted at the idea of cleaning during some of their break, they certainly appreciate that happy mama = happy family :)  Too bad that rationale doesn't work for other things around here...like doing homework, putting the toilet seat down, and brushing their teeth.  But one can dream, right??

One of the blessings of being a mother of 6 boys is that there is never a dull moment around here.   But it also means that there are mass quantities of laundry, unmatched socks, and sports uniforms that need washing.  Jane Jetson had it good...well atleast when it comes to the laundry.  And can I just say that homes built in the 1970's really weren't designed for a large family with a gazillion loads of laundry to do every day...literally.  The laundry room in this house is large enough for my washer and dryer and that's about it.  I hate it.  And for a room that I spend a lot of time in, I hate it a lot.  :)

So my super-husband (complete with his cape) came to the rescue this Spring Break and turned that little room in to a space that doesn't cause hyperventilation.  Beautiful, Pinterest-inspired pedestals create an additional 14 inches of storage space, but the difference is AAAA-MMMMM-AZING.  And while I will still have billions of pounds of laundry to do every year, I will no longer have them waiting on my laundry room floor for my attention. Here's to Big Daddy and his little elves for making my break fabulous and I'll be thanking them every day I'm in that little FABULOUS space.

Enjoy the before and afters...but please don't look at the piles, the dirt, the stacks, and the clutter.  Those are just figments of your imagination...really. 

Before...Notice the nice two tones of paint

The cupboards on the right are pretty useless because of the piles of  C-R-*-P...just sayin'

Someday their wives will thank me :)

Dad's love helpers

The almost completed pedestal...Oooohh

Painted black and distressed.  Can you say "FAB-U-LOUS"!

Yup, my husband really does love me...THIS MUCH!!

To download the plans for these beauties, be sure to visit http://ana-white.com/2011/01/sausha%E2%80%99s-washerdryer-pedestals.  BEWARE...her site is addicting as Pinterest.  I'm already planning the most FAB beds for the boys room, and laundry sorters, and...but I don't want to freak out Big Daddy.  He needs to rest and recuperate from this project before I drop the bomb.  LOL

Middle School Music Festival

Several weeks ago, BJ had the opportunity to participate in the 2012 Spring Music Festival in Nampa.  He chose to participate in the vocal competition and sung "How Great Thou Art" by the Irish Tenors.  The ALWAYS AWESOME Lisa Spjute accompanied him...I just love her and if you see her, tell her that she's just the bomb-diggity because well....she just is!

The video below is of his actual performance for the festival.  You will need to turn your volume up in some places.  We were there a little early and heard several young ladies perform before BJ.  It was nerve wracking (I don't recommend it for future competitions...LOL).  The judge was fabulous but he wasn't holding anything back on these young ladies --- critiquing them, asking more of them, pushing them to be better musicians.  He even called one girl's performance "nice if you like vanilla".  I just about wet my pants -- what was he going to say about BJ's performance and would BJ be able to handle it?!!  Oh my...nerve wracking!  You'll see what happens in the video, so I won't ruin it for you.  But needless to say, it was one of those moments when as a mother you are freaking out on the inside while giving your child the thumbs-up sign with a wide-toothy grin for encouragement right before they go on stage.  My heart was beating out of my chest I was so nervous for him.  And then when he was done it was everything I could do not to jump up and down and embarrass him....I really had to contain myself.  Enjoy the video...and the love Big Daddy gets at the end from the Judge.   :)

And again, a HUGE thank you to Lisa for just being so great to work with and very patient with our teenage (yes...our first-born is a teenager...UGG).  She put up with his burps, his giggles, and even his apology for spitting on her flowers (he missed while spitting out the window) right as he handed them to her.  Its a good thing I love this kid....and she loves him to.  Thanks Lisa....I {LOVE} your guts!