Post Holiday Crunch

I've been dreading this moment...sitting here at my computer trying to find any motivation whatsoever.  Ugg...my heated blanket and the TV are calling my name.  Seriously.  Well, maybe that's just my inner-self needing a much needed down time.  The last 8 weeks have been grueling and physically and mentally I'm exhausted. I kept thinking if I survive X, then I can rest....well when I hit Z I think the alphabet started over and I'm still trying to survive.

First, the big move.  Second, bringing our kiddos home.  Third, my papa passed away.  Fourth...Christmas! It really feels like the last few weeks have just been a blur and now I have to put my feet on the ground and get back in to reality.  Before I know it, school will be in full swing, FFA Convention is just around the corner, and then of course, everything else.  I must get myself organized and ready to tackle the 2013.

And...I don't want to.  My heated blanket is really tempting at the moment and the basement feels like it's getting colder.  Should I call it a night (at 7:30pm), and tuck myself in??  Oh.so.tempting.

"Life by the Yard is Hard"

The last 60 days have been grueling.  Well, to be honest the stress for me started on New Year's Eve of last year when we received the first "notice" on the front door of our rental home.  Inside...I freaked out.  How could this happen to us when we were paying on time?  Where was our family going to go?  Would we have to go?  When would we have to go?  And, every time another letter was hung on the door or someone stopped to take photos or do a check to see if someone was living in the house, I freaked.  It was hard not to.  I had no control over what was happening, even though our family lived there.  My husband, who is my rock, was steady.  He was patient.  He listened and reassured.  I still freaked.

This morning, this quote by President Monson struck me:

“Life by the yard is hard; by the inch it’s a cinch. Decisions Determine Destiny.” 

In the last 60 days, we have moved, traveled, and adopted.  Phew.  I am exhausted just writing that sentence.  Change has been hard.  It has felt like a marathon that just wouldn't end.  It wasn't a completely unexpected move because we had sensed that there was trouble with the bank for almost a year.  But unexpected to move in them middle of November.  But through it all, when we let the Lord handle things by the yards and we focused on the inches, things have worked out beautifully -- a new home for a great deal and two beautiful new children.

That doesn't mean that change is easy.  Leaving our church family is HARD.  Moving is HARD.  Unpacking is HARD.  Making new friends is HARD.  Did I mention that moving is HARD??   Keeping a preschool open while moving is HARD.  Making friends with new neighbors who have been traumatized by large Mormon families (lol) as their neighbors is HARD.  Working with Health and Welfare through our adoption is HARD.  Knowing that BK is struggling and not wanting help from his family is HARD.  And yet through it all, I've been at peace knowing that the Lord is handling all of the big stuff.  He's cool like that :)

Why do we insist on living by the yard?  Why do we insist in knowing what is better for us even though we can't see the full road ahead?  I can only speak for myself, but I am fiercely independent and want to be self-sufficient.  The last 6 years have required us to put all of our trust in Heavenly Father for providence.  We had to humble ourselves through lost jobs, failed businesses, loans that needed repaid, medical bills, more medical bills, the passing of mark, more medical bills, job changes, 4 moves...and yet through it all He could see the road ahead while we trudged along.  He could see the cliffs, pitfalls, 90 degree turns, and the end.  But I still insisted in driving the car!

It's something I'm learning to change -- I need to be more like my husband -- steady, patient, and not freaking out when things are out of my control.  (Note...I don't literally freak out....but I do freak out on the inside and lose sleep, hair, and a whole lot of years off of my life just to be clear :) )

These experiences, even with how HARD they have been, have strengthened my faith in the Lord.  That I need to let Him lead my life and quit trying to drive.  That I need to focus on the inches instead of the yards.  And that I need to continue trusting in my awesome, spectacular and fabulous husband.